Poundland Promises by Migs Rafferty

Chapter 1

Mah nem's Chardonnay, ma maw liked the finer hings in her life ken? Bit aw a kin say iz ma lifes no been fine. I wiz wurkin at Miss Maude's, ken the wan in The Mercat? Aye that wan and a wiz made redundant. So a wiz doon the street the er day, lookin to see whit a kin chore fi Sports Direct and thats when a saw him. He was a total ride like, except fur the bile on his neck ken? That wiz massive but his pus wiz gorgeous. He looked amaze in his Sports Direct polo shirt and his Adidas trackie's, what really got me gawn wiz his Lacoste velcro trainers. He wiz classy like.

A hid ahent the Celtic taps bit couldnae tak ma een aff um. My hert wiz gawn ten tae the dozen, ken when ye've jist robbed oot poondland and yer shitin' it in case ye get caught? Like that. Well ah wiz gaw rob a multi pack o Patrick socks and a pair eh Spall shorts and some Samba's fur ma maws pal doon the rod and tae sell aboot the doors, cos ma dole moneh wiznae gaw let me go tae Kitty's and feed ma bairn anaw. Bit ah wiz frozen in tym, ah needed um inside meh, ma fud was pure dreepin wi lust, oor souls hid tae be kinectit by his knob and ma fanny. Ah kent jist the wai tae snare ma Romeo in the airms o luv. He turnt roon and ah saw his nem wiz Kayden. Ah aboot came in ma pants.

 He came oer tae me askin if a needit ony help wi anyhin, his voice wiz like the inside eh a creme egg, it wiz sweet and runny. Ah saiz naw ahm jist lookin pal and gave him the eye, the gid wan no the lazy wan. His moobs and beer belly were heavin undur his tap, my devils doorbell wiz throbbin tae fuck man. I aboot grabbed a set eh swimmin goggles and run awa oot the shop. Ma gusset wiz wringin wi the frill o chorin stuff and that sexy bastard Kayden. A kid feel his eyez undressin meh oot ma last season Gers tap and ma Kappa trackies. He cocked his heed coz wan eye wiz bauckled an he smilet at meh. "Fanceh gittin pumpt in the stock room dawl?" he saiz tae meh. I kid see hiz lust strainin at his tracky b's. "Mon ahl show ye ma price gun." a noddit and he led me awa tae the stock room wi a limp...

 Ma hert wiz gawn like the clappers, i took Kaydens sweaty hawn as he led me intae the stock room, "there's ma price gun" he says. I thot tae masel sha hoor thats a big ane, it that he grabt meh and kist meh, it wiz like magic in ma moof, a bit like when ah wiz wi this bloke round the back o Caesers and he stuck twa fingurs in meh then gave me nookie bite. Magic. Hiz tung wiz in ma moof like a slippury eel, exploring it, I wiz guttit tae az a jist had sum Scampi Fries afore a wiz gawn oot on the chor. He pult awa an a bit ma lip, trying tae hide ma coldsore. He cocked his heed and frew meh intae a stack o Hi-Tec boxes. We ript at each ers claes oor eyes burnin intae wan anither, a kid feel his lust press against meh so ah whipped ma trackies doon and pood his doon anaw, a smelt his hunger, smelt a bit like a Caspian's. Az he pawed at ma kex ma een closed wi antispitation. ah wantit Kayden tae kwench that durty fire in ma pants. He ripped ma pants doon an a fartit a wee bit cos o the fright a got but he didnae notiss. A wantit tae rage at um cos a jist got thum ootay Geoge at Asda an they wurnay cheap ken? 

He pult ma tap up and ma bra doon, he wurked his fingers aw er ma bodeh and his tung wiz gawn at my chebs and nips anaw like a pig at a tattie. I garbbed eez bangur and pult it lyk a coos udder and he made a moan a bit like a coo anaw. It that he ratlled twa fingurz inside ma blurt, ah wiz in pyoor ecstissy. He rubt at ma bald man in a boat it wiz lyk a wiz bitin intae ma furst evur Gregg's steak bake aw er again. Jist waves eh pyoor pleshur wan efter the ither sha hoor i didnae feel this excitement since the Big Brer final o 2005. Ah sais tae um "harder ya bass" and he saiz "sha hoor, ah hink ah've loast ma sovvy" Ah didneh care, Kayden wiz ma King an ah wiz hiz queen, we wur a wurld awa fae kdy an the dole n that. ah wantit tae hae this cunts bairn, cos Jamal needit a wee brer or sistur, plus hink o the benifits ah'd git and i'd git oot ma flat oan Links Street cos it's only a 2 bedroom. 

Ah wantit him in ma moof, and to be fair ah wiz gaw jizz aw er his hawn an i didnae ken if ma king liked bein wi a squirter. i pooshed um aff and frew um ontae the adidas shell toes a bit ma lip then kissed doon his belly. He hid stretch mairks which reminded meh o streaky baykin but ah didnae care aboot that, ah wantit tae pleez ma king. he murmured it me sayin "git it ben ye dawl" so a sooked for aw a wiz wurf, but he'd be fucked if ah wiz gaw waste his baby batter, this wiz gaw be ma goldin tickit. he pood me up and i slid ontae his aching heat, ah might hae a fanny like a wizards sleeve bit he wiz touchin the sides awrite. 

A rode um fur aw a wiz wurf swishin ma hair aboot like whit a hink Jordin wid dae when she wiz pumpin Peter Andrews. He pit me oan ma hauns n neez and at that pint ah wiz mair worrit aboot skidmarks coz ah hid a bhuna oot eh Jahangir the nite afore and they cleen meh oot like. But when ah felt iz haunz oan ma hips a didnae care ah just wantit ma king, ma Jayden inside meh. I wiz gittin banged like a cobblers fum. We wur on the hiway tae pleshur i kid feel aner orgazum bildin up and ma king said he wiz gaw cum. it that the fly basturt pood out and feenisht aw er ma back, cheeky bass never evun got me oer the hill. Ma king fell ontop o meh and he says "sake, i jist pit this on man"

 it turnt oot thit ma king wiz a frog an ah widnae git Jamal a wee brer efter aw, ah pit ma studs back in oan ma tracky b's as Kayden didnae even offer meh his number or nuhin. He grabt his gun an fuct off. So ah fired twa pair eh Sambas, a 3 pack o Patrick socks and sum goggles intae ma trackies an boltit fur the door.